Let It Shine

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“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
John 3:16, KJV

“…Fall on your knees! O, hear the angels voices! O, night divine! O night, when Christ was born! O night divine, o night, o night divine…”
Adolphus Adam, “O Holy Night”, 1874

On December 23, 1989 a member of my family physically assaulted me. This person slapped me across my face, slammed me into a bed, jumped on top of me and pushed their fist into my mouth, literally trying to choke the life out of me. I was 12 years old.

My grandmother died 2 months after I came into this world, in December of 1977. I was the last grandchild she would meet.

My grandfather died 21 years later, also in the month of December, in 1998. The last time we spoke, I was behind prison walls.

Last year, in the month of December, a doctor informed me that I was suffering from a condition known as pseudotumor, and I would have to undergo surgery immediately to protect my sense of sight or run the risk of going blind.
(*side note: I had the surgery, but lost some of my sight anyway. Go figure…)

Historically speaking, it would seem that December just hasn’t been a good month for me. As a matter of fact, I have even been struggling to get myself well for nearly 3 weeks now. I started off with a simple cold, which evolved into strep throat, which blossomed into bronchitis. And just when I thought we were ahead of the bills, we find a notification for something we forgot to pay.

I’m telling y’all the devil stays so busy in my life! I feel like he has launched a full-scale attack on my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well being and just like a tree that’s planted by the water, I shall not be moved!
In spite of tragedy, abuse, illness, financial hardship and melancholy, I can still stand proud and say, ‘Hallelujah! Thank you Lord, for all you’ve done for me!’

Christmas will be here in 2 days! We might as well say Christmas is here! The most wonderful day of the year has finally arrived and my heart is so full of joy that I can hardly type these words! Jesus is the reason for the season and I am happy to celebrate that fact one more time.

Last week I wrote about depression and losing my holiday spirit. I noticed that so many people were walking around miserable and unhappy with life. I listened to my friends’ stories of trials and tribulations, wishing I could play a more active role in solving their problems. Chaos and turmoil surrounded me, so I prayed. I asked the Lord to grant me peace, patience and understanding. I wanted to know when and why sadness had crept in and taken precedence over my once jovial holiday spirit. I wanted to face it, fix it and flick it away like a cigarette. I wanted to be happy again, because that’s who I am.

My Mama and Daddy gave me wonderful Christmases year after year, even when they divorced and married other people. I never experienced the dark side of the holiday season until my 30s! The sad stuff of my childhood was overshadowed by all the love and affection my parents graciously showed me, even when I didn’t deserve it. They taught me to be kind and compassionate and appreciative, three traits I try to exemplify all throughout the year, not just during the holiday season.

 I take great pride in the fact that I am an optimistic individual. I view the glass as half full, instead of half empty, but I also understand the reality of half a glass of water. Basically, I like to look on the brighter side of things, while keeping a level head about how the outcome will actually be. I recognize my place in this world and what I represent. I’m not perfect, but I do try really hard to be a good person and encourage those around me to do the same. I respect my fellow mankind in whatever way is necessary to invoke peace. If you don’t believe in what I believe, that’s cool, do you! All I ask is that you let me do my thing and praise God. Misery loves company, and people will try to steal your joy. Don’t let the work of the Devil stop you from spreading good tidings and cheer!  When the Holy Spirit reminded me of how blessed my life has been, I broke through the Swamps of Sadness to share my joy with the world! 

I can finally report that I am on the road to recovery from the cooties I’ve been fighting these past few weeks and my world is back to normal, again. I have received 2 gifts, with a promise of more to come! And although my family and I can’t afford to buy gifts for each other this year, we did manage to put enough money together so my nephew could have a tree, and a few presents to go under it! As far as I’m concerned, God is good, all the time.

Whether you celebrate Christmas for the birth of Jesus Christ or for an occasion to gather with friends and family, or you choose not to acknowledge any of the holiday cheer, Merry Christmas to you! Until next time…

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Let It Shine

  1. I have read a few of your pieces. You have always been a good writer. I’m sorry about the struggles you have been going through.
    I can’t speak for the stupid white people that haven’t evolved, but for me, I don’t judge people on their skin color – or their weight. I hope you can look back and see that.
    And as MLK said, “In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know Mike. I don’t know if I EVER said, ‘Thank you’ for giving me my very first professional job as a journalist. I know we had our differences and things ended on a bad note, but I am very grateful to you for simply giving me a chance. I hold no grudge against you, honestly. Thanks for what you did back then, and thanks for reading my stories now.

      Like

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